Simplicity
by Atheniandream
Summary: **Chapter Three has been replaced!** Summary: This all started with a prompt for what happened to make Donna break up with Mitchell. Post 6.07 all the way to the 6.10 *FINALE*.
1. Chapter 1

Beta'd since initial publish.

Author's notes: Not Sure where this came from, and playing with the two of them. It's not my normal, but this season is throwing up all sorts of ideas by it's sheer lack of inspiration alone! ;-)

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Summary: This all started with a prompt for what happened to make Donna break up with Mitchell. (Post 6.08 but Pre 6.09)

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Simplicity By Atheniandream

 _A Tuesday Night._

They had been re-going over Mike's case and the plan to get him out for over three hours now. All angles, game-plans, ideas and take out and scotch. Which inevitably led to coffee. And lots of it, too.

However, Donna's attention had only started to wane after the _third_ interruption.

She sighs with disappointment, as the sharp light of her phone bleeds blue into the golden tinged darkness. She pushes the phone further into her bag, her face bending with a frustration.

 _The third repeat phone call in an hour_. It's actually making her more tired now; the thought of calling him back after a fourth time.

"Who's not ' _getting the message_ '?" Harvey's voice asks, directed from the chair opposite with that trademark drawl of his.

"No one." She shrugs pointedly, her face painting itself with a false blankness as she avoids his sudden interest. She notices his head loll to the side, that usual angle that his head leans towards when he's challenging her.

The length of silence draws her in _like a moth to a flame..._

She mimics him, until that press of his dark browns bend at her confidence. She swallows, rolling her own eyes for a moment, before meeting his waiting expression.

"Mitchell. We uh...we _had a fight_." She relents.

"Oh." He replies, the scar on his lip crinkling with the word.

Just as she feels a defence brimming in her gut, she notices his back straighten into a more upright posture, before he takes a sip of his drink.

She's always painted this gesture as his signal of morphing interest. Like he's figured something out, or he's suddenly paying attention; has found an angle to play or felt that wave of opportunity flood his veins. Yet, in the low light of his office it looks unusual, that he would make this kind of a movement, this kind of gesture in place of what she assumes would be a usually throwaway answer.

If she were honest with herself, with every passing day she's finding him harder to read, and it's starting to niggle at her, being so far away from that reason she can't yet put her finger on.

She holds her breath, a light expression balanced on her delicate features.

"Dump the Idiot." He throws at her, before she can think of a new subject. "He's not good enough for you anyway." He says.

" _No one's good enough for me_." She throws at him, huffing with that edge of humour in her voice as she raises her chin a little higher to accommodate the sentiment.

His eyes catch at her words, claiming her attention again. For a split second she thinks he's offering... _something_. Not a retort or a quip but a contrary opinion on the matter.

Some...new information.

Truth is, the possible information is not that new at all.

Her eyebrows raise instinctively, the coffee mug sliding along her lips as they settle into a confident cover of a line, a careful one that doesn't betray her ripe unease of the moment.

 _They've danced this little dance a lot lately._

 _Him_ , silent only to be drenched in unsaid words. Eyes watery, and subtext laden.

 _Her_ , tasting the palpable air with her honed senses, eyes wide and heart feeling exposed.

And yet, the growing handicap settling even further between them both.

This time,

It's _her_ that makes the emotional break for it.

"It's late." She starts, her knees unfolding, giving her the propulsion to lean forward and place the empty cup on the coffee table between them, before reaching for the bag that rests by the leg of the sofa.

He stands slowly, a moment after she does, downing his own drink in one. "I'll take you."

"Harvey," The words fall out like a tired objection. "I'm a big girl. I think I can hail a cab," She reminds him matter of factly.

She's stopped pointing out that they shouldn't do things like that. He shouldn't pick her up in the morning and he shouldn't drop her home at night.

 _It's not who they are. But he does them anyway. He never tells her why and he never pushes past the initial effort._

She knows that now. And even though the pieces don't quite fit together, she isn't fighting for them to, either.

Not anymore.

"I know," He shrugs, a casual gesture considering the darker look in his eyes. "You really wanna waste fifty bucks, when you could get a ride for free?" He challenges, his hands sliding into his pockets with a rather fatherly tone about him.

But she can see it in his eyes.

 _Harvey Specter doesn't take 'no' for an answer._

It's a saintly virtue and a deathly sin all wrapped up in one contradictory, Tom Ford laden package of a man.

She sighs then, before rolling her eyes as she waits for him to grab his coat from the back of his chair.

Truth be told, she hasn't seen Ray in quite a while.

 _She's likes the guy._ He's a kind and gentle soul in Harvey's hectic world.

They walk quietly to the elevator, as he presses the buttons, allowing her to enter first.

She wonders if they'll ride the whole way down in this kind of silence, as her sensory peripherals stretch out to map his form, stood a hands reach from her own. He's begun to slump a little, his usually tall stature taking on the wearing of the day.

She hears him sigh, his right shoulder rolling slightly with what she assumes is ingrained discomfort.

"I heard you talked to Mike." He says, straightening once more.

" _I did_." She nods. "He's... _I miss him_." She says, knowing where the words will lead.

"Me too." He sighs frankly.

Her head turns to him, noticing that look of guilt fly across his face with speed of thought. "We'll get him back, Harvey." She tries to assure him.

"I know." He nods briefly, his eyes flicking about her face for a moment.

 _There it is again_ ,

That feeling.

That weight.

She doesn't know what to say, any funny string of remarks falling away from her mouth like sand.

Before she even collects the silence between them, the elevator doors open, and instinctively she glides out before him.

She doesn't look back, as the glass dome is exchanged for the purple and onyx sky and a sleek almost liquid covered car that waits silently and reflects the night.

She smiles, when the driver of said car slides out and around to open the door for her before Harvey has even caught up to them both.

"Ray, you didn't need to do that," She scolds him softly, her face bending with a silent greeting.

"For you Donna? _Anything_." He reminds her with a wink, before nodding to an arriving Harvey, and returning around to the front of the car.

She glances at Harvey, noticing his slightly pensive face, before sliding onto the backseat. At once she is enveloped with the familiar scent of the car, patches of Harvey's cologne mixed in with cedarwood and freshly polished leather.

"Nice job on the car, Ray." Harvey greets, the lines on his face ironing out. "You go back to the old place?" He half enquires.

"Yes I did, Mr Specter."

"Good call." He nods, his face bending in a comfortable line.

* * *

.

They ride in what should be a comfortable silence, the sound of Johnny Coltrane flooding the car. She knows they're both tired. Ray doesn't speak because he knows Harvey. It's ingrained in him to let the man strike up conversation when he's so silent.

She can't help but wonder what is going through his head. And the lack of urge to ask.

Her phone beeps twice in that time. She curses silently to herself, until she notices the odd and humoured look on his face.

"What?" She enquires, turning off her phone this time.

"I just find it funny that you haven't told this guy where to go."

"Harvey. It's...complicated." She says, watching as his face sharpens with scrutiny.

"What did he do?" He asks her.

"Nothing." She insists. "He..wants to...move in with me." She says, sighing at the fact as it still continues to consume her.

"And...you don't want him to move in…?"

" _I…._ "

She's sure she doesn't.

She's pausing on it.

But the overwhelming stare of her Boss, his eyes boring into hers isn't helping clarify that decision anymore than she already has.

She swallows, covering the act by straightening in her seat.

"What's with this third degree? What are you? Me?" She gawps, suddenly animated.

"Fine." He says, his jaw twitching with what she assumes is humour laden arrogance. "Get sensitive about it. It's written all over your face."

"What. Exactly, is written all over my face?"

"You're just... _dating him to pass the time_." He tells her.

She struggles to ignore the slight clearing of throat from Ray, way in the front.

Her mouth opens, looking at him as the car slides to a halt.

She doesn't know what to say. And yet an anger is peeking out through the cracks now and she can't fathom why that is.

She narrows her eyes, sliding her bag onto her lap.

"Thanks for the ride, Ray." She says lightly in the direction of Ray, her eyes laced with sudden and over-reactive contempt as she flashes a look towards Harvey. "Goodnight Harvey. " She throws, before opening the car door.

When she steps out of the car, the cool air doesn't hit her like usual.

She's flushed. And she doesn't even know why. Maybe it's the scotch they'd started the evening with. Maybe it's the way the week is panning out. Maybe it's just the moon and the stars and _fate dicking around..._

Before she can even reach her apartment building his voice washes over her like several waves of warm heavy chocolate.

"Donna,"

"What?!" She snaps dramatically, spinning on her heel.

"Just...dump the idiot." He smirks.

"Harvey..." She warns, her expression falling into blankness.

"You have this pattern...of dating guys that don't match up. How about you pick one you actually want those things with, for a change?"

"And...I suppose you have someone more suitable in mind?" She quips heavily, giving him a sharp look.

But he's silent, then.

 _Like always._

Infuriatingly silent about them when he's grown to be open about so many things.

She shakes her head at him and hopes it's enough, as she pulls the door open with a roughness, and swallows the feeling of being on fire.

* * *

.

" _ **Donna**_ ,"

She silently curses the key that hasn't even made it to the lock, as she swoops around to find him at her door.

206.

 _The amount of times he's hurt her heart._ Or going to, probably.

 _She promised herself that this would become a less frequent affair,_ as she turns around to face him.

"Harvey go home. Ray has a family to see tonight, instead of being stationed outside of my building."

"He gets triple." He shrugs, confused by her words as he catches back his own. "Listen, Donna, I,"

"Now hold on...how…..dare you!"

"How dare I?" He squints.

"Yes! How... _ **dare you**_...profess to tell me what I should and shouldn't do with my love life, when you can't even figure out your own."

"Donna," He warns, his lips bending with unease. "He's not good enough for you," He warns, the edges coming out like a lecture from someone who knows better.

"How do you know? Huh? You've never even met him."

"I don't need to. The guy's an asshole."

"Well. It takes one to know one."

"Funny. And _you do_ have a pattern, by the way."

"Oh, I do, Do I?"

"Yes. You do." He nods.

"Why are you even still here? Speaking of patterns, shouldn't you be boning the next listless woman at the next up and coming bar?"

"Donna," He sighs, "Let's not pretend you don't know that I'm...not doing that right now."

"Oh I know." She swallows.

She knows.

She knows that he goes home and drinks into the night until he falls asleep. That he's too wrought about Mike and too tried to seek out the kind of women that used to keep him up all night.

"Thing is...I can't work out why." She says sharply.

"Really?" He scoffs, his face bending with disbelief.

"Yeah. I'm torn between the fact that Scottie told you she doesn't want to see you for while, or the fact that _she's in therapy_ too. Because, since that happened, and since she came to your office that night, you've been…"

"Been what?"

"Different." She states.

He straightens, taking in her words only to seemingly sigh them out.

"Donna," He says, landing her name. "It has nothing to do with Scottie and you know it." He snaps the words down on her, shutting up any remark she has reeling ready in her head.

It disarms her anger, but only in place of something else. "Harvey, look. _I know_ that you lost your Mother's painting...and the situation with Mike has you off your game right now. But, we'll-"

"Donna, it has nothing to do with that god damned painting or Mike," He bites, cutting her off.

"Then what?" She snaps back, exasperated by this two step half dance they're doing.

"Really? You can work everything else out but you can't figure this?"

Her eyes narrow as the pit of her stomach alludes to things she really wishes it wouldn't.

"Harvey...what are you saying?"

" **You**." He says. "It has to do with _you_."

She looks away then.

Even if she had wanted to hear it, it's just too much. She sighs, taking a moment before the decision finds it's way onto her face. "Harvey. We work together." She tells him.

"Didn't stop you coming at me about it before." He reminds her.

"Yeah. And that worked out so well the last time." She says, the sarcasm lacing her words.

 _She's right._

She knows that he hates the way that she looks at him, pulling at that truth for all it's worth by the way his shoulders slump.

"Maybe...things are different now?" He manages to say.

She rides the impulse to challenge him. It's a stupid whim but she's already feeling exposed by his insistence, and rubbed raw by her fight with Mitchell. "That's it? That's all you got?"

"What do you want me to say, Donna?" He asks, an edge about him then. "What exactly do you want us to be?"

"Nothing, Harvey." She bites at him, a tiredness riding her now. "Every time you fail to say _half nothings_ to me...it only tells me that we're exactly where we should be." She tells him. "We've been there before. And I'm _with Mitchell_ now. I don't want to go there again."

His face falls and she wants fall into a hole with it. But by the time she looks back at him he's looking at her differently once more.

"I'm sorry….that I hurt you."

"You already said that."

"Do you...want me to say more?" He asks, the touch of a smirk on his crooked lips.

It leaves her breathless, the weight behind his words. How they seemed pinned up by a proposal and a hidden curve ball and so similar to last time.

" _ **Donna**_?"

They both look towards the man stood, suddenly present and panting slightly from his assault of her stairs.

"Mitchell." She blinks, her eyes wide and then some.

"You wouldn't answer your-"

"Mitchell." Harvey repeats, interrupting the man's train of thought with a dull tone.

The man before them straightens, frowning slightly in a way that doesn't fit the man's honest looking features, with a lightness in his eyes and a subtle grace to his appearance.

"And you are?" The man asks, looking down to Harvey

She interrupts with a lightning impulse. "This is my Boss, Harvey Specter."

"At your front door?" The man enquires with an interest.

"He's…. _We've_ …" She pauses, looking to Harvey. She wishes she hadn't and can read every inch of his face in a way that drags at her insides. "Known each other a...long time." She says, before turning her attention to Mitchell. "Why are you here?"

"I…" He pauses, blinking as he observes the other man at his own girlfriend's door. "Do you mind, giving us…" He asks Harvey vaguely.

Donna notices Mitchell, overcome with a multitude of emotions at Harvey being at her door.

"Harvey." She says, gaining his attention for a moment. "I'll...see you tomorrow." She offers, faking a levelled expression as she fishes for her keys, opening the door before watching her boyfriend awkwardly pass them both to tread over the threshold of her apartment.

If looks could bruise, she figures Harvey's would leave mark until her very last breath.

* * *

.

Harvey Specter doesn't sleep that night.

He can't sleep.

He's angry at himself, and angry at her and confused as hell.

He doesn't know why he pushed it. It came out of a veritable nowhere in his mind, but now he's frustrated and lost in the myre of feeling. A myre that seems, _more often lately_ , to be repeating on him with a bile ridden taste in his mouth, like shitty Thai food.

Mike.

Sutter.

Cahill.

The Firm falling and rising like a broken sail on it's worn ship.

Even through all of that, and his unwavered concentration on getting Mike out of that danger-ridden shit hole,

Somehow,

There is Donna. _Still._

A problem, ever-present.

Pressing on him like a marble pillar.

All he can think of to do, lately, is to fold into her. In every conceivable way.

And it doesn't make sense. And the notion of it is riddled with warning signs. It's not only her red hair that spells 'danger'.

He doesn't go to her. He doesn't call, as he lays there, sweating against his egyptian slate coloured sheets.

But he does dream of her. In the arms of a man that he's only seen once.

In his dream he makes himself watch, as she is fucked in _his own_ bed by a man that _isn't_ him.

Fucked, next to the painting his Mother made for him.

 _The next morning, he is absent at work, pounding on Agard's door again without an appointment just to disarm the strict tightness in his chest._

* * *

Please feed the kitty!


	2. Chapter 2

Notes: This is Post 6.08, or at least during.

Huge thanks to everyone for their support. This ship is such a trial but boy do I enjoy writing them about them.

* * *

 **Chapter 2:**

* * *

.

* * *

Breaking up with people is hard.

Even when it's right. It's still... _difficult_. Especially directly off of the back of your Boss airing his 'feelings' on the matter.

 **Difficult.** _Enough to make you listen, but just not enough to help you understand._

And it's typical, of him. And typical of her to not push the fact.

 _Once_ , in thirteen years.

And look how that turned out…

* * *

.

* * *

She is tired today, wearing rings around her eyes and makeup that just won't cover everything it needs it to.

When she finally arrives at the office, later than usual and in her least comfortable heels, she's unable to even feign an act of surprise at the fact,

 _That the one and only Harvey Specter is_ _nowhere_ _to be found._

She huffs, and wagers that he's most likely still in bed.

 _Or avoiding her._

Or both.

She fights the urge to slump into her seat, looking at her calender of the day's events whilst avoiding the fact that it's his. _His calendar. His Work. His Life._

Her fingers _hover_ over the phone for a moment, playing with an idea, until the impulse to call him breaks from her mind, finally, as fingers quickly speed dial the number she already knows off by heart.

* * *

.

* * *

Harvey Specter regrets his decision, about a half hour into the session.

"Are you going to answer that?" He hears her ask him in her clipped english tone, as he frowns back at her, before stuffing the phone back in his pocket as if it was nothing.

"Nope." He answers plainly, looking back to her with a guardedness.

"Harvey." She starts, her tone exacting. " _She's_ the reason why you came to see me to today. Why, you came here, like you _haven't_ for a while, and demanded that I once again clear my schedule for _you_." She pauses for effect. "Now. If you're not going to be honest about the situation, and the fact that we _both_ know that it was _Donna_ on the phone, then...I can't really help you."

 _Check Mate._

He has to hand it to her. _She's good._

His jaw twitches. "Hardball?" He offers, expecting this to lead somewhere.

"Why didn't you answer it?" She asks him plainly.

"Because...I didn't need it," He says, suppressing the urge to groan. He's learnt now that this is a mechanism for someone else taking control of the situation.

" _It_ ….?" She repeats, the word stretching.

"I didn't need her checking up on me." He offers then, cutting off the drawn out sound of the word.

"Is that what you feel? That she... _checks up on you_?"

"No." He huffs, "It's her job…I just...I don't _need_ to deal with her right now."

"But you're dealing with her in this very room. She's the reason why you came here today." She points out, before sitting forward.

He can always tell she's found a way around him when she sits forward. He sits up, besting her and waiting for her particular angle to appear.

"What exactly would talking to her on the phone change?" she asks him, a light press about her words., and that slight squint of interest on her pale features.

"I just…" He pauses, feeling the pressure of her question.

What would it change? If he were to have answered? She'd always dealt with those kind of moments with a quip or a playful jibe.

What was stopping him this time. "I don't know what to," He pauses, shrugging. "I don't know what you want me to say." He says, frowning then.

She nods, sitting on the edge of the chair.

"I would like...for you to tell _me_ , how _you_ think that phone call with Donna would have gone, if you'd have answered just then."

"What would that even solve?" He squints the question at her.

"Indulge me?" She throws at him then, words light in touch and gauntlet laden as a faint smile appears in her eyes.

He sighs, relenting slowly. "Fine." He grumbles, rolling his eyes. "She would have... _asked where I was_."

"And...what would you have said?" She offers.

"That I was... _late_. That I'd be in _later_." He replies, letting the words roll naturally with that slight touch of arrogance.

"Why would you not tell her that you were in a session?" She asks him, her face confused.

"Really?" He defends, giving her a look.

"She knows you come here, Harvey. And from what I know, she's going to figure out that you came here today to-"

"Why would she?" He asks, cutting her off.

"Because she's... _a perceptive woman_. By all accounts."

He calls bullshit on her expression alone, as he picks up on the knowing clarity of her words and the defensive shrug she uses.

"What do you know?" He demands, scrutinising her then.

It's a whim, but a whim that he would put down money on.

"I...what I mean is…" He notices her backtrack, pausing slightly.

" _ **Did she come here and talk to you**_?" He asks her, cutting to it.

"She didn't tell you?" She asks, an interest claiming her features despite his firm approach.

"No." He says, giving her a look.

Typical. Always holding one secret back. That seems like Donna.

She smiles to herself for a moment.

He holds in the strike of annoyance at the fact.

She sits back then, her hands flying up into a controlled gesture. "Like I said...she's very perceptive, Harvey."

"She's a nosy pain in my ass, is what she is."

Paula chuckles, covering it with a seriousness. "Is that how you really feel about her?"

He rubs his hands over his face, the frustration starting to muddle his perfect cool.

"NO...I….I don't." He admits. "But I don't want her to know _how much_ I…"

"How much you…?"

"How much it got to me. _Last night_." He clarifies.

"What about last night affected you, exactly.?"

"The... _boyfriend_ showing up, for starters. _Mitchell_."

Even as he says the man's name, he gets bored.

"You never met him, I take it?" She supposes.

"After the last time...she's always made sure that I was...far, far away from any of them."

"Why do you think that is?" She asks him.

"Because I'd figure out they're not good enough for her, and tell them myself." He smirks.

He wonders,

If he's ever going to get to the bottom of anything.

 _Today just seems like her catching up…_

He sighs, re-adjusting his jacket.

"What makes you think that you have the right?" She asks pointedly.

The words hit him hard, no matter how delicately she lays them. "Donna's a grown woman. Do you think you know what's best for her, more than she does?" She asks then, slowly turning up the heat in her words.

"I know they're no good for her…" He defends.

"You told her that last night." She reminds him.

"I did." He confirms, nodding.

"Why?"

"' _Why'_?" He echoes.

"Why did you tell her that her boyfriend wasn't good enough for her?"

"Because she always picks the wrong guys!" He says. It surprises even him, the pent up frustration that emanates from his words.

"Because they're... _not you_?" Her hands land like an arrow towards his heart. He straightens, a frown forming on his face at the kind of emotional assault he's getting.

"No, I..." He's lost for words at the sheer audacity this woman has.

"Admit it, Harvey. You think no one is worthy, because they're not... _ **you**_. Only you can't tell yourself that..."

"Bullshit." He frowns, leaning back once more.

 _He's right._

 ** _It was definitely a bad idea coming here._**

"Bullshit?" She offers, a frankness written on her face despite the surprise at his words. She sits forward, a sharpness returning to her features. "The only bullshit in the room, is the bullshit you're feeding yourself to make it easier to justify the fact that you're _in love_ with a woman that you _won't let yourself be with_. _Now_ , until you _either_ let her go, or tell her that fact, clearly, in a way that she can be confident that you're being honest with her, then...you're just wasting your time lying to _me_."

It's enough to silence him. To shut him down. She can see it in the way he grinds his teeth together.

But he doesn't object this time.

He's not the guy who fights as much as he used to. Not anymore.

"Now, you can lie to me all you like, Harvey. But lying to yourself, and to Donna, will only make it harder for the two of you to move forward in a way that could... _really change your life_."

.

* * *

.

 _ **You gotta know, I'm feeling love**_

 _ **Made of gold, I'll never love a**_

 _ **Another one, another you**_

 _ **It's gotta be love I said it**_

 _ **You gotta know, I'm feeling love**_

 _ **You gotta know, I'm feeling love**_

 _ **You gotta know, I'm feeling love**_

 _ **Made of gold, I'll never love a**_

 _ **Another one, another you**_

 _ **It's gotta be love I said it**_

 _ **I might as well be in a garden**_

 _ **I said, ah**_

 _ **A smell in the air is a dripping rose**_

 _ **(you could be the one for me)**_

 _ **Another soul to meet my void then**_

 _ **Of anything bare that's made of gold**_

 _ **A physical kiss is nothing without it**_

 _ **And you close your eyes to see what it's done**_

 _ **The body that lies is built up on looking**_

 _ **Cause all that remains before it's begun**_

 _ **You gotta know, I'm feeling love**_

 _ **Made of gold, I'll never love a**_

 _ **Another one, another you**_

 _ **It's gotta be love I said it.**_

 _ **.**_

* * *

 _ **.**_

It's got to be **love**.

I said it.

.

* * *

.

His feet feel numb. It sounds like some hippy shit, but he feels numb all the same. He walks slower than usual, as the doors to the elevator open. He almost shuffles, as he follows his natural instinct towards his office.

It's then that he sees her.

It hits him square in the chest, and for a moment the unsure look in her eyes has him almost turning in the other direction.

He can't explain it. But it's gotten to this. This kind of a problem.

He breathes, keeping himself level, as he approaches the corner of her desk, his face tilted to the ground.

"You're here," He hears her say. He doesn't miss that edge of her voice that he's learnt of over the years.

He pauses, watching as she straightens to stand opposite him, the high desk their only barrier. He breathes in, his chest broadening as he summons enough of what he loathes to think of as courage.

"Can I….talk to you for a minute?" He asks, "In my office?" He clarifies, passing past her.

He knows it's a shitty thing to do, to summon her like it's a regular work day. But the truth of the matter is that he just doesn't trust himself to be around her outside of those glass walls. They are protection as much as they are a statement to the world. They keep him from going over the edge, from stepping too far in either direction, with her or any other matter in his life.

He watches as she glides into his office, shutting the door quietly behind her.

He waits for her to still, noticing the sharp look she has trained on him.

"I was at...Therapy. This morning?" He says, stating the answer to the question before she can even ask it.

"Oh." She says, a look of genuine surprise on her face. "I didn't know that you were still-"

"I wasn't. It was a... _one off_." He clarifies, his face guarded.

"Right. Listen, Harvey, I've-" She breathes.

"Donna," He interrupts, stepping forward a step.

"Harvey just," She says over his words, her voice bending.

"Donna, please" He interrupts again. "I...need to…. _ **get this out**_ , okay?"

"Okaaaaay." She says, pausing fully then.

She watches as he appears to gather himself in a way she hasn't quite seen before.

"I'm sorry. About last night? I...I should never have taken you home,"

"Why not?"

"Because. You're seeing someone...and I...didn't make that easy for you."

"We broke up, Harvey." She tells him.

"You…" His words drag in an effort for his brain to catch.

"Mitchell and I. We uh...we broke up. For good." She states.

"Right. I…."

He breathes in, the skyline suddenly bursting out in front of him. "I'm...I'm sorry to hear that."

 _He can't explain it._

Her words are like a deadbolt in his mind.

"Don't be." She says, the words encouraging his eyes to find hers. "It's...just meant to be." She tells him.

He swallows. "Right...I...have to uh...get on with work." He insists, walking instantly to his desk. "I'm behind."

"Really?" She remarks, as he slides into his chair. He doesn't miss the pinch of irritation in her voice, as she turns, heading out of his office.

"Donna?" He calls after her, a guarded expression his only armour as his stomach falls flat.

"Yes, Harvey?" She manages through a clipped tone.

Her eyes look like she's going to crack like a fresh whip.

"Nothing." He mutters. "Forget it." He shakes his head, before looking down into the chasm worth of denial he's laid out in front of him.

He misses the 'Of course." that falls bluntly out of her lips, as she quietly walks to her own corner.

He regrets the interchange for the rest of the day.

* * *

.

* * *

She misses him leave.

 _Something about Mike._

The possibility of him not getting out looms over the entire firm again, and yet even Rachel is otherwise occupied.

With Harvey and Rachel both absent, Louis in La-La Land, Mike behind bars and her boyfriend newly extracted,

Donna is given a space that she needs...filled. _Immediately._

In her first act, she takes up kickboxing. Her gym is offering classes and they have a space left for her to fill. She doesn't feel fragile. Or scared, or in danger.

But she feels vulnerable. Emotionally so.

And mostly just frustrated. And the two make for the kind of mix that breeds an acute aggression that she just needs to punch out of her own being and into a heavy bag.

She's always been a yoga kind of woman in the past. The breathing and stretching have always calmed her, and honed her senes. But lately, she just needs to punch the crap out of something. Her wrists have never been strong. However, just punching aimlessly at the bag seems to release the kind of pent up feeling that she needs to get rid of. _Stat._

There are colourful flashes of Harvey, and the distinct planes of his face and their jagged issues to match, and occasionally she goes beyond herself and twists, letting the back of her thigh take the full weight of the hit.

It's not the entire lot. But it's enough for now.

She decides there and then,

That she has thirteen years to beat away, if she has any chance of coming out of this mess intact.

* * *

Wednesday Night:

He thinks of her whilst he touches himself. He's not proud of it, but there it is. And suddenly, a catalogue of her wardrobe opens itself out to him. Visions of the past twelve or so years of her work clothes flood his brain,

 _All waiting to take a number._

Because, of course. She is gorgeous. And so well put together. And she's been under his nose like this, like this book of gospels waiting for him.

And so he takes the opportunity.

Because after all,

She doesn't seem to want to paint a new picture.

Still muddled up in a mixture of them.

And so, he uses up all the old ones.

Just for a while.

Whilst he can.

* * *

 _Author's Notes:_

Not sure how much he knows about her going to Paula. So if it's been mentioned in the show in detail then see this as creative licence ;-)

AS always, please feed the kitty. xox


	3. Fill in

To all reading:

Apologies for the mess up on Chapter 3. Somehow posted 1!

As it doesn't give an update again I have left this chapter empty:

Please forward to chapter 4.


	4. Chapter 3

_Author's Notes:_

 _Many thanks to everyone that's fed back so far._

 _Sorry about the delay on this. I started to craft it off the back of Mike's release with a short piece. And then Jessica Happened. And then the hand holding kind of deadened the speed of my fic. So I've pieced together the plot here, with what's happened. I have glazed over Mike's release, so if you didn't catch my one-shot prompt fic then I'll publish that after._

 _I'm just really honored to have included Jessica in my old fics. She will remain, ever present, and ever in favour of Donna and Harvey being together one day._

 _ **Good Luck, Jessica Pearson.**_

 _This chapter is dedicated to you, and your absence._

* * *

 _Girl you think you got it bad_

 _Got our different ways with the same old thing, yeah_

 _Had our own dreams, with the same old outcome_

 _Had it by the stream, with the same old breakdown_

 _Worked it to the bone, with the same old habit_

 _Girl you think you got it bad_

 _Got our different ways with the same old thing, yeah_

 _Worked it to the bone with the same old habit_

 _You like it when you're so bad_

 _You know it too well_

 _You're acting like you're so bad_

 _You know it too well_

'Got it bad' by Leisure

* * *

Donna wonders why he emotionally retreated after she informed him of her breakup.

The way he one-eightied so quickly when he had seemed to be opening up about them the night before, leaves her cold. She had assumed so much more from his previous words that she feels stupid now. She feels naive, in a way she has never let herself be.

And now he is _old Harvey_ , once again.

From his own accord, back to his own denial.

Typical of his still unwavering nature.

She wonders if it was meeting the man she _had_ been dating. The spontaneity of events that unfolded and him being 'knocked off of the spot' as it were.

She struggles over that situation, as it plays in her head. How it could have been so different from all the other times, and yet how once again it had remained the same.

She tries not to let it bruise her, but she's is hurt inside, and forever bruised by him in particular. Her heart is starting to struggle, black and blue and purple by his hand. So much so, that it has started to build into a fresh annoyance.

And she wonders, _just how long they can do this before one of them cracks._

* * *

He is aware that she is quietly disappointed.

He can feel the heat radiate from her, that quiet resentment in every opportunity that he wastes in them being alone and in each other's space.

She's never been like this before, and it puts him on edge.

But he is trying to work around to abating...it. _That natural red-headed fire of hers._

 _It's hard_ , he realises.

They communicate on the surface, almost implicitly over the next day or two.

But things don't really change.

Their relationship outside of the office hasn't altered.

She had told him that it had been finished.

For all intents and purposes Mitchell was out of the picture _for good_.

 _A done deal._

If only he could find the guts to power through after such a bump in the road.

But he can't...let himself be exposed again until the tide has settled.

On the surface, and to others around them, they are still unbreakable.

Under her skin, she is gradually seething.

Under his, he hides a multitude of sins painted in all her signature colours.

Together, they are a contradiction that everyone wonders about, especially as Mike's release bursts over them with an immediacy.

.

Mike is released out into the world again. Finally.

Rachel is beside herself.

Harvey is gracious but deeply pleased like a father and a brother and a best friend.

 _And then the **real bomb** drops._

Jessica's time at the firm, firmly reaches an end.

A cacophony of sound echoes through the partly empty halls.

And yet, a fire lights inside him with a day-burning glow.

* * *

 _In a dark room we fight, make up for our love_

 _I've been thinking, thinking about you, about us_

 _And we're moving slow, our hearts beat so fast_

 _I've been dreaming, dreaming about you, about us_

' _My head is a Jungle' By Wankelmut and Emma Louise._

* * *

 _~'You just have to let me go.'~_

 _'You're sure about this?'_

 _~'To tell you the truth, for the first time in my life,_

 _I'm not sure about anything, and **it scares the shit out of me**._

 _But I **have** to do this.'~_

* * *

They have stayed in the spot for so long now, that their breaths have begun to sing in unison. Their hands are entwined, still, as they allow the comfortable darkness of the room to wrap around their collective form.

He's still trying to process it.

He had understood her words, and the weight of her meaning. Just as he saw her heart truly bleed for the first time ever in his life.

He couldn't have stemmed the flow, even if her knew how.

Jessica needed an out. _Needed more_. Her heart was longing for it.

He understood that, now.

 _After Donna_. After Mike. After so many things.

Louis wasn't there yet. He was still thinking about himself in all of this. The man still couldn't grasp the point. Maybe he'd get there in time.

But Harvey understood. Suddenly everything started to make sense.

After all, the woman was his Mentor. His compass. His guide and shining light in a world that he had only seen as dark, until she had plucked him out of that musty mailroom all those years ago.

Harvey Specter wasn't always so spearheaded and readily aligned to success.

Once upon a time, he was lost and flippant. But he was shrewd, even then. And sharp enough to prove himself worthy of tackling the only world he really inhabited now.

And as it turned out, he had just needed a _firm_ focus.

And Jessica Pearson was that very thing.

She was a woman that could guide him, like a mother, and turn his head like a red-blooded woman with the same intention.

 _He had been in awe of her from the very start._

Part of him, was truly devastated at her leaving.

And yet part of him, was alert, and concentrated. On pride and responsibility and being finally handed the torch, as it were.

He was getting a promotion, it seemed.

And he was honestly scared shitless.

It was _his_ job, now. To lead as she had led. To be that strong and comforting presence to all of those people.

He _had_ been just a shark. But a good one. And then suddenly, a leader of few over many. And then over no one, almost as quickly.

 _And now…._

This wasn't like all those other times, where he had triumphed, and had been rewarded for his victories. Where he could lose his head and still be protected. Where people could be after his head and yet, still, he had that sanctuary that she allowed for him.

All Jessica had ever wanted was for him to do what he did best. And in return, give him everything she thought he wanted and deserved.

And still, when he had crossed her, she had remained. Firm. Stoic. Not belligerent and self serving. But gracious, and self sacrificing.

 _And now..._

 _Even after he had helped bring it all tumbling down,_

 _And she had tiredly fought for all that she'd overseen, and built upon,_

She was handing it to **him**.

She hadn't said it, but he had known by that look in her eyes. Honest and overtaken and surrendering all she had left. She was giving it all up, and passing it over to _him_. He could see it written in neon lights above her head.

So had Louis, in his way. And, Donna, as always.

Harvey had decided there and then.

 _Never to let Jessica Pearson want for anything. Even above her own ability. And on untill the woman's last breath._

And if he, Donna, Louis, Mike, Rachel, THEY, or anyone, who was with them could bring the firm back,

 _Then the 'Pearson' that led them would reap the first reward._

He feels Donna's hand fall out of his for a moment, as she seems to transfer her weight from one foot to the other.

He swallows, pulled in by their inopportune moment, before shutting down his impulses in favour of taking her hand of his own accord and without her permission.

"Harvey," She seems to protest as his own voice covered hers.

"Come and just...sit down, for a second." He offers, guiding her from the window to the couch.

He watches as she frowns at him, confused by his sudden impulse, but does as he asks.

He breathes in, trying to unsettle the heavy tension in his shoulders, and sits next to her, his hand still in hers as he collects the weight of his own mind.

"Look. I uh," He pauses, gathering himself. "I know we haven't…. _talked_...since you came back to me."

"Harvey, don't do this right now." She tells him, the weight of the last hour still lingering in her face.

"Donna," He presses. "I have to get it out. _Now._ Whilst things are...up in the air. _Before_..."

 _Before things change again._

He feels the impulse to look vaguely at her, rather than directly into her eyes, at least until he can get out every thought that clouds his mind. _Her eyes have always had a way of distracting him with undiluted meaning._ "Jessica is leaving. And the firm... _may not_ survive. Now… I need you to know. I," He pauses again, his eyes catching at hers.

She looks just as terrified as he feels. He wonders just how much of that is him and how much it is of Jessica leaving.

His arms raise quickly, his hand retracting from hers as they contact the skin of her arms. She inhales sharply, observing him as his hands slide down her bare skin in an effort to comfort her worrying expression. They rest at his sides, when he realises that even _that_ isn't helping. _That maybe he's pushed a little too much._ "Look. We need to get this firm back on it's feet again. And...there's going to be _a lot_ of changes along the way."

Her eyebrow quirks then, giving him a look that is _so_ Donna. "You think I don't know that, Harvey? _I was there. She's...gone_."

"I know that you know." he confirms, wrestling annoyance. "I'm just...setting it out there." He clarifies, matching her look for a second, before concentrating once more on the on-going motor inside himself. "Now, I _need_ to know that you're... _with me_ on this." He plants the words. "I _can't_ do this without you."

She leans back, her head tilting. "Why do you think I'm here, Harvey?" She half smiles.

"I know that. But I need you to know that…"

"What?" She presses, her eyebrows raising.

He smiles, looking at her delicate features as they attempt to hang on his words, and wonders if she already knows what he's going to say.

" _ **I want more**_ , _**Donna**_."

He pauses on the edge of his words, watching her body stiffen.

"What?" She blinks, suddenly confused by him.

"I want more. _From us_."

"Oh." She manages, turning her head into the room, before looking back at him.

It's not the reaction he ever expected, or hoped for.

He glazes over her look of confusion at his directness. "But, I need to ask this, that you and I... _ **wait**_."

"Harvey," She sighs then, her brows knitting together with a clarity, and a rising frustration.

"I want us to...put it...this... _whatever it could be,"_ He gestures between them."On hold. At least until," He pauses, reaching for the words that are suddenly evading him.

He can see it in her eyes, the pain and the anguish at where his words were headed, and how the finality of his meaning hits her.

"Until we've rebuilt what _ **I**_ ruined. Until…" He presses, weighing the words even more. "This place looks the way it used to. **For her.** _For Jessica_."

There is a stretch of silence between them. He can almost feel her slipping away from him.

 _He wishes, now, in ten fold, that he had never entertained the idea to step up and make it right._

He sits back and watches her for a moment, abating his insecurity as her shoulders rise with the heaviest, almost painful of breaths.

He braces himself for what may possibly be the worst moment of his life. And a complete day of shit.

He blames Agard for all of what may come.

"Donna. Please, say something." He pleads, his voice low and his face bending a fraction.

It takes a moment, and a rawness in her eyes for her to collate anything akin to a response.

"You know...what upsets me more, is that you're asking me to do this _**again**_." she tells him. "You make me feel like you feel _something_ and then you cut my legs from under me." She says, shaking her head.

"Donna _you_ offered to come back to my desk." He defends.

"I know that." She sighes then. "But back then. _The Other Time_. You did it _then_." She states, a lecturing tone to her words.

He can see, when she swallows and looks away that she never meant to say that.

 _Bombs are still dropping all over PSL._

"I didn't know I was... _I didn't._ " He struggles with the words.

Until, suddenly...it dawns on him. It all makes the kind of sense that seems to obvious to be true.

 _She had never said it. Not once. In all those years. At least not until the Stephen fiasco and even then it was a vague reference in an even muddier situation..._

As a wave of understanding hits him, as he realises.

She is right. _As usual._

 _Thirteen years ago, he had asked her, ney, forced her to give up what she wanted in favour of what he wanted more._

 _At the time, he was just too dumb to work it out. And too arrogant to care._

"And _**you know**_...that I _will_ , Harvey. I did then, and I will now." She accuses, her words far too tiredly executed to relieve him. "I just...I can't promise that I'll wait for you. I won't do that to myself."

"Donna," He finds himself saying.

Anyone that knew him would hear the way he bends her name, as a plea for her to listen.

He allows the space, watching her face contort slightly, the way it does when she's trying to sift through the myre of his life.

 _He'll give her that, at least._ Especially as it's her life, too.

"I'm not apologising for who I am." She defends.

"I told you a long time ago, you don't have to." He reminds her.

She nods, her dark eyes folding against his even darker ones.

"Harvey...I... _hear_ what you're saying. And I feel the same. _I do._ But...if I'm going to honour your agreement I either need a... _huge retainer_...or something, at the very least." She relinquishes. "Or else...there'll be a limit on my waiting." She warns.

" _You_ broke up with Mitchell." He states, reminding them both.

"And that's for me to work through in my own head." She bites back, silencing him.

His face drops at her bluntness. She was seldom this serious with him.

"That how it's gonna be?" He remarks, giving her a questioning look.

" ** _Thirteen Years_** , Harvey." She reminds him heavily.

"I know." He says, nodding with a touch of school boyishness about him. "You _know_ how I _feel_ about you, Donna." His voice drags over those last few words, her name ripening on his lips.

"And that's always been the problem," She remarks, shaking her head at him, a not too subtle warning in her expression despite this sudden softening of her posture. "Better give me your first offer, Counsellor." She fires at him, her tired face expectant.

"Eighteen Months." He offers.

"A Year. " She demands. "And it better come with a god damn _ **meteor**_ of a ring." She offers boldly, folding her arms with a stubbornness.

"Donna," He sighs, his eyes widening at the sudden gear shift.

"I mean it, Harvey. Work around it in your head." She orders. "I will work by your side, and get this place back to what it was. I will use every breath and every minute of my day on it. _**For you.**_ But...if you don't make good on your promise, I will go." She says. "Or, if you think you feel differently, and you don't say it now and I found out later, then again...I'm gone, Harvey." She presses her gaze against his. Making him aware of the weight of her words. "But if you tell me that you just made a mistake, and that you just want us to be friends and colleagues, I won't hold it against you." She says then, carefully landing the words so that he hears them.

She begins to stand, abruptly, for a moment, causing an anxiety to lash in his gut, as his fingers itch to touch her. "What are you-" He begins, looking up at her, confused and all at once ripped from the wound. He opens his mouth only to be met with her words.

" _ **In fact**_ , take tonight. Think it over." She tells him staunchly, standing in front of him. "I'm gonna go home." She decides, the thought lime fresh in her mind.

"Donna. Don't do this." He half-pleads, standing as she walks towards the door.

Her face bends, and in that moment he feels pathetic, the way she looks at him with that slight pity. "Harvey," She says, her name warmer then. "I'll be back tomorrow...when things have sunk in. Then you can tell me where you stand; I'll tell you where I stand, and we'll make a final decision and a plan. Okay?"

He stands taller, his face setting into an assortment of hard angles. "Fine," He relents, his tone darker at her sudden restriction.

She picks up on it as fast as he lays it down, taking a few steps forward so that she hovers just in front of him.

"And then, we'll right the ship? Okay?" She promises, before walking to her desk.

He mumbles to himself, slowly following her soon after. "I'll drive you home." He offers, stubbornly.

She pauses, whipping around to face him, her bag slapping against her. "It's okay, I'll...get a cab." She insists, holding firm as she picks up her bag. She collects herself, before a sympathetic expression falls into her eyes.

"Donna." He says.

It's the only word he has left. He is spent. When she looks back at him, he sees the ghost of flight in her.

"Just...think about what you _really_ want, Harvey. That you're sure. Just... _ **Give me that**_." She offers, before stepping forward and gliding to the elevator.

He doesn't follow.

Watching her leave is as agonising as every other time before it.

But he'll do what she asks.

* * *

 _ **The Finale and last few eps changed the game so much! Hopefully I've pulled the fic towards the finale, giving a little space to move around.**_

 _ **As always please feed the kitty! ;-)**_


End file.
